


Emerald Rage

by hyperius



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: And He Is Trying, Bruce Wayne Has Issues, Bruce Wayne Loves His Sons, Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Fluff, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Jason Todd Gets A Hug, Jason Todd Needs A Hug, Lazarus Pit Madness, Mentioned Bat boys, but not like you think, maybe more than slight angst, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:07:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23725831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyperius/pseuds/hyperius
Summary: Jason was trying to heal, but the boiling bloodlust of the Pit was never far away.Bruce decides it's time to show Jason that he doesn't have to do it alone.They learn to heal together.
Relationships: Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne
Comments: 13
Kudos: 200





	Emerald Rage

Jason was trying, he was trying to be better. He was trying to improve, and heal, and he realized that a part of that means… ~~un~~ fortunately… recollecting with the family. At least a little bit. It means meeting half way, snapping at the others a little less, getting a little less defensive, and maybe even willingly attend more ‘family’ gatherings. The others have noticed, too. They have even started to support him to an extent.

They’re no where near intimate bonding, yet. And Jason has maybe been cheating on his whole healing thing by not actually going to any of the family events outside of anything Bat-related. Which was fine by Jason, the healing was slow going but happening - actually progressing, at a speed that makes him have minimal panic attacks. He learns to cope with the fact the others may actually want to spend time with him, because it’s him, and not because of obligation or some sense of guilt and pity at a speed comfortable for him. It was good.

Then it all went to hell.

It was after a mission that everything went a little south. He was shot. It wasn’t actually too bad, Jason thinks. He’s definitely had worse, but the issue was… he was with Bruce and Daddy Bats thought a bullet wound in the leg is a big issue. A big enough issue that it requires him to go back to the cave. Which is how he found himself sitting on the med bay in the bat cave, pouting slightly as Bruce carefully stitched his leg.

He wanted out, “I want to leave.”

It was too much too quickly. Being back in the cave, not for a mission, was scary. Bruce’s steady hands taking care of him, his gaze unwavering and intense, was also scary. Scary, because Batman’s undivided attention made him feel small. It made him feel like he was Robin, fucking up once again on a mission. It made him tense, it made him shake. It made him scared - and how many times has he said he was scared in this short amount of time? Jason Todd would rather die again then admit he’s afraid. But here he is. Hell, even when he was trapped in that warehouse, in the last moments of his life, he felt a lot of bad things. but scared wasn’t one of them.

It was a very unique Bruce reaction.

After a long pause, Bruce finally looked up from where he was finishing up the stitches, “No.”

Jason scowled, eyes narrowing at the older man, “You can’t keep me here.”

“I can. You’re hurt. You can’t walk, and you certainly can’t drive a motorcycle. Especially since it’s going to rain. Just stay the night.”

“I don’t want- I can’t.”

“You can’t or don’t want to?”

“Both. Let me leave.”

Bruce let out a very measured breath. He’s noticed how Jason has been trying harder, how Jason has been fighting himself to heal. So, he has also realized he needs to reciprocate: he can’t get angry so quickly - he’s been trying to keep calmer around his son. Both Dick and Alfred spent many hours explaining to him how Jason fed off his anger, getting defensive and reacting negatively, and they explained how Bruce needs to be the bigger person.

And then he got the lecture again from Tim and Alfred and Dick. Once more by Damian claiming: “You are the father, act like it.” So, lesson learned.

“Jason, I’m doing this for your own good. Please, just stay.”

The look in Jason’s eyes showed Bruce he hasn’t won, but he also hasn’t lost. It was something different. Jason looking as if he’s hurting. Hurting and weary, cautious, and maybe a bit scared and all that made Bruce’s concern grow. That’s the look of Jason hiding something painful, something big. What is he hiding? What does he not want Bruce to know?

“Jason, what are you hiding?”

He saw his son’s eyes cast downward, and he bit his lip while keeping silent. Bruce frowned, cupping Jason’s cheek and lifting his sons face to look Bruce in the eyes, “I won’t get mad, I promise. No one will. Now, honestly, why don’t you want to stay?”

He saw conflict in Jason’s eyes, saw him argue with himself about the pros and cons of sharing his little secret. Eventually, it seems, Jason gave, and took a deep breath. “You, you say you want me back in the family,” Bruce nodded, “But you don’t get it.”

“What don’t I get?”

“I’m not always good! Or healing, or better like you want me to be. I still - I still get messed up, but then you’ll call my fuck up predictable, and say you knew I couldn’t change, and then I’d be back at square zero and you’d never trust me and I can’t handle that again!”

Bruce was taken aback, “I- it wouldn’t happen like that.”

“Yes it would, cause it has. That’s always how it goes.”

Well fuck, Bruce doesn’t like that. He doesn’t want that. He wants Jason to feel like he can talk to them and trust them without them throwing him out. He wants Jason, his son, to feel safe in their own home. But Jason doesn’t, and Bruce hates himself just a little more because of it. He’s already done so much wrong, hurt Jason so much because of it, and he past denying that. He doesn’t know how to apologize for it yet, can’t find it in himself to do so yet. But he’s trying to be better now. “I promise you Jason. I promise. I am going to help you, and nothing bad will happen if you tell me.”

Jason bit his lip, looking down in contemplation before letting out a short breath, “Promise?”

“I promise.”

“Ok… ok,” Jason took a deep breath, “I just, it’s stormy. And we’re in the Batcave,” He paused and Bruce quirked his eyebrow, “Ok, ok. Um, you know about the pit. Lazarus pit. And pit madness,” Bruce nodded, and Jason sucked in a sharp breath, “Well I’ve got better control of the pit, it’s still there, and there’s days the pit still gets more control of me then not.”

“What does that mean?”

Jason made a sound, then let out a long noise of frustration. He knows how it _feels_ like, he knows it feels like emerald rage that clouds his vision - fogs his mind and good judgement. He knows it feels like fire beneath his skin, pumping blood like lava through his veins, spurring him on to be angry, angrier, _angrier_. He wants to hit, he wants to hurt, and he wants to _hurt_ \- for others to hurt him. Every negative emotion, every pain, and anger, and jealous feeling just gets multiplied by a hundred. It’s like every fiber of his being starts to vibrate, starts to tremble with rage and - fuck, he wants blood, he wants to kill. He feels like he’s drowning. It takes trapping himself in his apartment, caged like a rat before he can bite. He doesn’t know how to put it into words, but he tries, “Sometimes it just makes me so angry. Like, I want to hurt people so badly, and I just - it breaks me, my self control. And I don’t even realize what I’m doing until after someone gets hurt.”

He’s… been dealing with this for how long? Alone? Bruce always knew of Pit madness, he just didn’t really think it affected Jason like that. He guesses it’s like way back then: he didn’t think his Robin would die, and now he didn’t think Jason would be so affected by the Lazarus Pit. He was wrong and… he’s tired. He’s so tired of failing Jason.

“You’ve only ever dealt with this pit madness alone, right?”

Jason nodded, “Yeah.”

“Would it react the same way with you around others?”

That was not a thought he’s ever had before, and why would he? No one’s ever been there for him before. “I don’t know. I’ve never had others.”

And he should have. Jason should have had others, and Jason shouldn’t have been alone through it all. Bruce wanted to scream, at himself, for failing yet again - failing, failing, _failing_.

“How do you know pit madness will come tonight?”

“The rain and…”

“And?” Jason looked away again, like he does every time he’s trying to hide something. Bruce softly knocked on his knee, “I won’t get mad or anything, I already told you that.”

“Then it’s Batman. And the Robin suit,” The fucking Good Soldier, the idolization of his mistake, the creation of his cautionary tale, “One or the other, or even, only two I can hold on because I leave at the end of the day, and deal with it at home. But all of it together - it’s just a feeling of knowing. I know it’s gonna happen.”

“Ok. You won’t be alone. How can I help?”

“Keep the little ones away from me.”

Bruce nodded, “Will do. What else?”

“Don’t be afraid to hit me.”

Bruce frowned at that, because normally he, well, he has hit them. But he’s trying, too, to get better, and he doesn’t want to hit them anymore. Especially not Jason. Every time he sees that scar, on the side of the neck, Bruce’s heart restricts in all the worst ways and he wants to throw up. No more. He’d rather let Jason beat on him, if it’d help. He probably deserves it.

”I won’t. I may restrain you, but I will never hit you.” A pause, “Let’s get you upstairs and to a room, yeah?” He all but carried Jason to the room, ignoring Jason’s soft protests. If Jason really wanted out, Bruce wouldn’t have had a chance.

But he supposes it’s the start of the night - Jason is in his hands now, and for once, he won’t let him fall.

Jason has only ever experienced the pit madness when he was angry, jealous, and sad.  
For the very first time, he felt the green overtake his mind when he felt… safe. And Bruce is here as, as Bruce, and not Batman. Bruce, acting as his father, sitting in the room with him, Alfred delivering them dinner and hot cocoa. Jason couldn’t hide the smile, couldn’t shy away from the warmth in his chest, the way his heart tried to jump towards Bruce and become his son again.

He won’t allow himself though. There’s still a lot more to work to do before Jason can completely forgive Bruce. At least, that’s what he thought. But when the green fog began to boil through his mind, the way his heart longed for Bruce’s fatherly love, the way it longed for this familial connection he’s been missing for so long, it multiplied, and the first though that came to mind was _shit_.

Along with the _need_ also came the jealousy, the hurt of knowing he’s never going to be a son like Dick, or Tim, or Damian. It hurts, it hurts to know that. He gripped the blanket tighter, knuckles going white. Bruce, of course, noticed the shift in behavior from his chair, where he was reading aloud to himself and Jason. A frown crossed his face, “Jay?”

Jason made a sound, gritting his teeth, “Green.”

Green, Rage, Lazarus Pit. Bruce set the book aside: Pride and Prejudice. It was Jay’s favorite read. In fact, the book was Jay’s original copy from when he was a child, with all his little written notes and bookmarks. It was the book they read together before Jason went to sleep. Bruce was never able to get rid of it, and they never did finish reading it together. Of course, Jason finished it by himself when he was young, as he read ahead from where Bruce stopped for the night, but then he would pretend he didn’t, so Bruce would still feel special they were reading together. He knows Jason has read it a million times over, but Bruce still hasn’t finished it. He couldn’t, without Jay. But Jay’s here now, and still pretending he doesn’t know what’s about to happen next.

Or, was pretending, before the Lazarus attack.

Bruce stood, walking over to Jason and taking a seat beside his son, “Jaylad, are you ok?”

Jason shook his head, and Bruce hesitated before putting a hand on his son’s shoulder, “Jaylad? What do you want?”

 _A hug, my dad, family_ \- but how does he say that? He shook, the self-hatred he’s usually so good at ignoring swirled up through his spine and hit him like a sack of bricks. He was weak, he was so weak and cowardly and he couldn’t even tell Bruce something so simple as… as wanting to be part of the family again. He didn’t notice the tears that began to settle in the corner of his eyes, but Bruce did. Bruce did. He reached forward, tentatively, and wiped at his eyes. Bruce knew how to handle Penguin, Joker, blood and broken bones, pain and hurt and, and everything that’s not a carefully emotional situation. But he’s trying, damnit, even if he’s horrible at this. But apparently, perhaps for the first time, he did something right, because as soon as he began to wipe away the tears, Jason lunged, burying himself in Bruce’s chest with a shaking breath. Bruce immediately wrapped his arms around Jason. He was startled, to say the least, but he was also pleased with the turn of events, for the lack of violence. He looked down at his son, and didn’t know whether to smile or frown, “Come on, Jaylad, talk to me.” Especially because he expected punches and kicks but not… snuggles.

“I don’t know. I- I want to be your son again and now it’s all blown up like my anger usually does and I think-“ Whatever emotion he’s feeling, the pit amplifies it. And it’s only ever been rage. He didn’t… he didn’t realize how angry he has been. He didn’t realize how much of his life has been lived in a never-ending cycle of hurt and anger, and now he’s moving past it. “I just, it’s just… I miss having a family,” _I miss being your son_.

“You have a family. You are my son,” Bruce’s voice was stern, but there was a waver to it, a little tremble of disbelief, “You have always been my son. I’m… I hate that you ever felt differently.”

Jason looked up, eyes wet and he swallowed around a sob, “You mean it?”

“Yes. I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t,” And Jason longs to believe it. He really does.

**Author's Note:**

> Here we go! Some family fluff. 
> 
> I'm thinking about making another chapter, but I'm not sure. If it didi I know I'd bring in the other bat boys, but I may also just make another one shot with them? What do y'all think?


End file.
